Dune

Director: David Lynch
Year Released: 1984
Rating: 1.0

Mega-flop based on Herbert's wildly - and I've been told inexplicably - popular novel about various forces fighting for 'spice' on a desert planet filled with giant penis-worms (or are they worm-penises? You can't be too sure) is probably Lynch's worst film - hokey, distanced, incoherent, dispassionate. The visuals are impeccable - and for better or worse it feels like an impersonal Lynch film - but the running time is a killer, and I saw the shorter version (I refuse to endure the 190-minute fiasco, which even the director wanted nothing to do with). Patrick Stewart in a pre-Star Trek role is a bright spot.