- 2017 Films Ranked

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2017 Films Ranked
Updated 10-21-17.

A



A-

Get Me Roger Stone (Bank, DiMauro and Pehme)


B+

The Beguiled (Coppola) [* Female-recentered re-think of the Siegel/Eastwood movie is moody and disturbing (don't mess with the emotions of the ladies or they'll team up to destroy you). The entire cast is absolutely superb.]


B

Nocturama (Bonello) [* A smidge too ambiguous, but it is a chilling thinkpiece about Kids Gone Loco.]
The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected) (Baumbach) [* Sandler's getting a lot of love from the critics, but Hoffman carries this - when he goes into a coma (spoiler!), it loses a lot of its charm. What's with the quick fade-outs?]


B-

Graduation (Mungiu)
The Lego Batman Movie (McKay)
Icarus (Fogel)
Rocco (Demaizière and Teurlai)
Nobody Speak: Trials of the Free Press (Knappenberger)


C+

Baby Driver (Wright) [* A gooey parfait of pop movie influences (who else remembers Doug Liman's Go?) with some astounding editing. Don't think, baby.]
Ghost in the Shell (Sanders)
Gaga: Five Foot Two (Moukarbel) [* Don't get me wrong, it is an Advertisement For Herself (Gaga is all too aware of how to get attention), but it's also about the (unseen) difficulties of putting together a record, a music video, a tour, a Super Bowl appearance and the toll it takes on a person's physical and emotional state. She needs a team of assistants just to prep her to walk her to a car ... isn't that some kind of living hell? To be a pop star, don't you have to be a sort-of masochist?]
Abacus: Small Enough to Jail (James) [* James sides with the 'little guys' ... but why was there no oversight at the bank? Didn't they check the books? Not sure they're totally "guilt free" (innocent people generally don't need 10 million worth of legal counsel), though the trial was a blown-up farce.]


C

Get Out (Peele)
Dunkirk (Nolan) [* Technically solid (those planes!), but it lacks a reason-for-being.]
Becoming Warren Buffett (Kunhardt and Oakes)
Logan (Mangold)
The Discovery (McDowell)
Wind River (Sheridan) [* Delves more into Renner's back story than the community it claims it's focusing in on ... noble intentions, but it's shallow.]
The Ornithologist (Rodrigues) [* Lush and evocative - it's methodically paced (and somewhat hypnotic in parts) - but clunky as allegory (and wow is that ending dumb).]
American Made (Liman) [* Haven't there been too many of these CIA-around-the-world movies? "Based on a true story" = "a fun lie."]

C-

John Wick: Chapter 2 (Stahelski)
Wonder Woman (Jenkins)
It (Muschietti) [* One dimensional bullied kiddos get carried along by a constant string of boo-moments. BOO I tell ya!]
What Happened to Monday (Wirkola) [* Seamless effects - all those Noomis chatting with each other! - without a detailed script to develop its admittedly interesting concept (so ... many ... plotholes ...).]
Split (Shyamalan)
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (Gunn) [* Snake Plissken built his own planet without a Dunkin' Donuts?!]
Betting on Zero (Braun)


D+

T2 Trainspotting (Boyle)
Raw (Ducournau)
It Comes at Night (Shults) [* Neat shots of creepy hallways and the woods, but it's just paranoia-for-its-own sake and also terribly vague - if Shults intended it as a metaphor for the Refugee Crisis (and that's giving it a LOT of credit), it's also xenophobic.]
Win It All (Swanberg)
Alien: Covenant (Scott)
Take Me (Healy) [* Pat's too nice for that kind of work, really, so that part doesn't gel ... though Schilling is actually good.]
A Cure for Wellness (Verbinski)
The Big Sick (Showalter) [* I realize it's based on a true story, but it still feels artificially presented ... and it doesn't help much that Kumail is a dipshit whose stand-up (and one-man show) is terrible. Straight out of the Apatow Factory of Pacing Issues and Men Who Won't Grow Up.]
The Babysitter (McG) [* Too stylized to be cheap fun like those sleazy 80's teensploitation movies.]
To the Bone (Noxon)
Casting JonBenét (Green)


D

Personal Shopper (Assayas)
It's Only the End of the World (Dolan)
I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore (Blair)
The Bad Batch (Amirpour)
Beauty and the Beast (Condon) [* ♫ There's nothing in here that wasn't in there before. ♫]
War Machine (Michôd)
Song to Song (Malick)
War on Everything (McDonagh)
Kong: Skull Island (Vogt-Roberts)
Death Note (Wingard)
The Mummy (Kurtzman) [* No wonder Summer '17's box office numbers were so dreadful ... it's like they aren't even trying.]
Okja (Bong)
Little Evil (Craig) [* Adam Scott is too calm/snarky to ever be truly frightened; the kid turns nice rather easily.]
Catfight (Tukel)
Manifesto (Rosefeldt) [* Stringing various concepts together haphazardly doesn't lead anywhere - it's truly a slog, although Cate-as-teacher reciting Dogme 95 vows to elementary school kids is personally amusing.]


D-

Slack Bay (Dumont) [* ... aaaand he's finally moved into total self-parody.]
iBoy (Randall)
The 101-Year-Old Man Who Skipped Out on the Bill and Disappeared (The Herngrens)
XX (Benjamin, Clark, Kusama and Vuckovic) [* Horror movies are supposed to try to be scary, ladies. At least Ms. Clark can keep her day job (as St. Vincent).]
Fifty Shades Darker (Foley)
The Boss Baby (McGrath)
xXx: Return of Xander Cage (Caruso)


F

The Incredible Jessica James (Strouse)
Baywatch (Gordon) [* Ha ha your dick got stuck.]
Sandy Wexler (Brill)


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