If Footmen Tire You What Will Horses Do?
Director: Ron Ormond
Year Released: 1971
Extremely violent anti-Communist, pro-Christian propaganda narrated by Baptist minister Estus W. Pirkle (based on his own book!) that details what will happen if America puts aside its love of Capitalism and Prayer and turns to Fidel Castro and his enticing bags of candy. As a cult item, people just watch it to make fun of it - children have their ears pierced with sticks when they aren't beheaded, religious folk are gunned down in the street, wives are assaulted by vodka-swilling soldiers - and I've just never been the type to find joy in mocking already inept movies. What's interesting is how deadly serious Pirkle (who has a way with words) and Ormond are about it - and let's never kid ourselves: countless people have died because of evil regimes (the Great Leap Forward, for example) - but asking people to abstain from drinking (sweet release!), dancing (it's "the front door to adultery") and pre-marital sex (the best kind) is basically saying, "No Fun, Not Ever." I wonder how Pirkle would have reacted to someone telling him that Jesus was a Communist and something called Christian Communism exists (believers were allowed in the Bolshevik Party). Why not have the best of both worlds?