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Cloverfield Paradox, The

Director:  Julius Onah
Year Released:  2018
Rating:  0.5

A team of scientists/astronauts on-board an international space station (including Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Daniel Brühl, Chris O'Dowd and Zhang Ziyi) test a device that they hope will provide the Earth with energy ... except it teleports them to another dimension, where the Earth appears missing and they find a woman (Elizabeth Debicki) impaled with electrical tubes who has a hidden agenda. If, while watching this, you find yourself asking aloud, "Am I having a stroke or doesn't this make a shred of sense," fear not for your health: this nonsensical (and frankly asinine) "script" was sketched out by a fellow named Oren Uziel (he also wrote the worthless Shimmer Lake), who must have seen Alien one time and foolishly thought he could do something similar (this is a D-grade version of Scott's film). Uziel should be kept away from screenwriting software the same way children should be kept from eating Tide Pods.

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