Near Dark

Director: Kathryn Bigelow
Year Released: 1987
Rating: 0.5

It took until about half-through this painful mess that I actually realized that Bigelow's main intent is to make her first movie as silly and moronic as possible. Honestly - because if I were to think for one instant that she was actually trying to do some sort of 'real moviemaking,' well, that would be really too much for me to take. It's useless complaining about the acting or (wretched) dialogue, since I'm sure the cult that this picture has formed doesn't care and just relishes all the contrivances, bleeding intestines, melting faces, facial scars and the sight of Bill Paxton being blown up by a gas truck. If 'good' over-the-top is what you want, Peter Jackson's Dead/Alive, an intentionally goofy gorehound pic (which came out about seven years later), one-ups this.