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Beauty and the Beast

Director:  Bill Condon
Year Released:  2017
Rating:  1.0

A conceited prince (Dan Stevens), as well as the guests of his humongous castle, are cursed by an enchantress (he becomes a monster, they become talking furniture and various appliances) and it can only be broken if a woman falls in love with him - enter alternative-thinking 'weirdo' Belle (Emma Watson) ... who's being stalked by roguish Gaston (Luke Evans), determined to make her his wife. Similar to the 2015 Kenneth Branagh version of Cinderella, it's like they took the 1991 animated version and decided to make a live action replica, only more machine-like and cold: they went all out on the CGI (Ian McKellen's Cogsworth and Ewan McGregor's Lumière look remarkable), but computer skills don't make up for its lack of a pulse, or Watson's being miscast (her 'smile' always seems fake and she's never struck me as having the dominant presence of a lead actress - she's too aloof, and when she has to 'emote' it's just brow-wrinkling and grimacing). Allow me to change one lyric to better fit this: "There's nothing here that wasn't in there before."

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