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Angry Birds Movie, The

Director:  Clay Kaytis & Fergal Reilly
Year Released:  2016
Rating:  0.5

Quintessential Hollywood idiocy: thinking a (relatively simple) cell phone game that most people grow tired of in a few days can become a movie. But by damn they tried: in this asinine tie-in, pissed-off bird Red (voiced by Jason Sudeikis), forced by his village to go to Anger Management (not run by Charlie Sheen), grows suspicious of a group of green pigs that show up on his remote island ... and wouldn't you know, the pigs are evil and want to steal their eggs for a quick lunch. Having played the game (for about two weeks) I suppose I should try to give this credit for trying to be faithful to the mechanics - you know, slinging birds with different abilities across the screen - and to assembling a better-than-expected voice talent cast (Josh Gad sounds frantic! Sean Penn only has to grunt!) ... but no, it's practically worthless. From the Department of Obvious Observations: the swine really need a good schooling in proper architectural design.

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