Rock of Ages

Director: Adam Shankman
Year Released: 2012
Rating: 0.5

A wannabe singer (Julianne Hough) arrives (via bus!) to Los Angeles to pursue her dream of being famous, meets up with a wannabe rock god (Diego Boneta), meets up with an actual rock god (Tom Cruise, trying to parody Axl Rose) and gets in the middle of a "war" between the "squares" (?) who think rock 'n roll is scary and dangerous (?) and those who like said genre of music (the "cool people"). As if it isn't enough that the two leads are generic and have zero chemistry together, the dialogue is atrocious, the "jokes" are of the cornball variety (let's take pot-shots at boy bands!), Cruise embarrasses himself (like he did in Tropic Thunder) and everyone sings sugary, glitzy versions of "classic" songs that made ugly men with long hair temporarily rich before most of them blew their money, got old and hung up those filthy leather pants. I'm guessing they're targeting the Glee crowd (or even those who actually, gulp, liked the equally bad Across the Universe) and failed (the box office reflected that) - this belongs in that toppling stack of pandering musicals that insult the audience's intelligence.