10,000 B.C.

Director: Roland Emmerich
Year Released: 2008
Rating: 1.0

Pitifully idiotic adventure story - it's Apocalypto in reverse (here, the hero chases after the villains to get the girl, there the hero runs from the villains to get the girl) - riddled with logical problems, historical inaccuracies, bland characters and - this is becoming a recurring personal complaint - CGI better suited for a Playstation game (not to put down games, but I try to place movies on a higher artistic plane). Emmerich has never been much of a filmmaker - his only passable film, to me, would be 1994's Stargate - and I don't see him improving; the only thing that, to me, makes this slightly more bearable than last year's 300 is the lack of pro-imperialist politics: this is about family, bravery, honor, etc.