Director: Tinto Brass, Bob Guccione and Giancarlo Lui
Year Released: 1979
Usually when I read about a film being "terrible" by the vast majority of critics I immediately wonder what it is about the picture that infuriates them so and try to play Devil's Advocate, but sometimes when something sucks, it just sucks. So goes this mammoth failure, a fictionalized portrait of the life of the madman Caligula and his sexual excesses, so bloated and ridiculous in its sexuality it's like a virtual cold shower - random cocks get sucked, hairy pussies get penetrated, heads get hacked by walls with spinning blades (!!??), blood literally flows down steps, and the only message to be gleaned is that, you know, excess kills and that Little Boots was probably mentally ill. If it weren't for the luscious production quality (the sets and costumes are excellent) this would surely rank among the worst films ever made - now it will merely have to settle for being called at fatuous, boring attempt at high minded porn.