Sex and Lucía

Director: Julio Medem
Year Released: 2001
Rating: 0.5

Utterly baffling nonsense from Medem, who's under the impression every film he has to make has to be as close to Borges as possible; meanings and symbols float around waiting for someone bored enough to put them back together (the end result is a little like what Homer Simpson came up with trying to build a grill in his back yard and winding up with junk art). It picks up in interest for brief periods of time whenever there's rampant nudity and simulated masturbation, though, of course, all the contrivances and hilariously awful dialogue could be the product of the (mediocre) writer's libido - how many times do gorgeous brunettes approach men in cafes, beg them to live together (naturally, the man accepts) and offer to fulfill any and every fantasy? If you're Sebastian Junger, maybe....