Eternity (2025) review

While at a gender reveal party with his entire family around, Larry Cutler (Barry Primus as an old man, Miles Teller as a younger fellow) chokes on a pretzel and finds himself in "the afterlife" (which appears to be a colossal hotel complex) where he's told by his 'coordinator' Anna (Da'Vine Joy Randolph) that he must choose a single-themed "eternity" to reside in, so he waits for his dying wife Joan (Betty Buckley as an elderly woman, Elizabeth Olsen in youthful form) to appear, but when she does it turns out her first husband Luke (Callum Turner), a casualty of the Korean War, wants to reunite with her.  This is intended to be some cutesy romantic fantasy except everything about it is lousy: the "rules" of the after-life make it seem like a nightmare, it isn't endearing or sweet (despite its generally amiable cast), it keeps repeating the same points (because it has nothing truly meaningful to say) and, worst of all, it's full of bogus sentimentality.  The conclusion tries to be an 'audience pleaser' as Larry encourages Joan to be with Luke, but she figures if she could tolerate him over sixty years on Earth, why not an infinite number more?  Honestly, if this is what transpires once I leave this hellscape, I'm heading for Hermit World.  There better be Irish whiskey.