Paradise Alley (1978) review

Cosmo Carboni (Stallone) lives in the Hell's Kitchen neighborhood of NYC with his brothers Lenny (Armand Assante), a physically disabled mortician, and Victor (Lee Canalito), a hulking ice deliveryman, but has dreams of "moving up in the world," so he and Lenny arrange for Victor to become a "professional wrestler" to bring in "easy money" but then becomes concerned about the toll it will take on Victor's body and mind.  As Sly's directorial debut (which was written before Rocky), it seems to get the grimy atmosphere right, but every other aspect could have used plenty of refinement: it takes a full hour and change for anything resembling a plot to appear, the parts with Cosmo and Vic talking are ripped from Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men and the "romantic" angle involving competition between Cosmo and Lenny over Annie (Anne Archer) is treated as an afterthought.  The theme song by Stallone is terrible enough to make the alley cats start wailing in agony, and yet Tom Waits (in his first big screen appearance!) is in there tapping on the ivories with an ever-present cigarette dangling out of his mouth.  Here's a challenge: try not to chuckle whenever Sly shouts "I'm sensitive!"