Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey
Director: Rhys Frake-Waterfield
Year Released: 2023
Christopher Robin (Nikolai Leon) takes his fiancée Mary (Paula Coiz) back to Hundred Acre Wood to revisit old pals Winnie-the-Pooh and Piglet only to find they're livid at being abandoned and have become homicidal maniacs (they even ate Eeyore!) - later on, Maria (Maria Taylor) and her friends rent a cabin in that very same forest and get terrorized by them. Taking liberties with artistic material is one thing, but it's another to completely bastardize the much beloved - and life affirming - characters A. A. Milne and illustrator E. H. Shepard created without adding anything of substance to it: any jaded middle school kid could have "re-imagined" the teddy bear as a Leatherface-type cannibal who rips the clothes off of women and oozes honey out of his mouth. Considering it earned over 4 million with its reasonable budget of 100k, whoever invested in it made a solid return - unfortunately for the rest of us, that means more sequels are on the way....