Director: Ruben Fleischer
Year Released: 2022
Rating: 0.5

Bartender - and small-time pickpocket - Nathan Drake (Tom Holland) gets recruited by Victor Sullivan (Mark Wahlberg) to help him track down the treasure stashed by Ferdinand Magellan's crew way back when (and hopefully find his missing brother Sam, too) - unfortunately for them, several others want to know where it is too, including Moncada (Antonio Banderas), ruthless Braddock (Tati Gabrielle) and double-crossing Chloe (Sophia Ali).  As with virtually all video games-turned-movies, there are countless problems: like Tomb Raider, it mechanically goes through the motions of "solving the puzzles" (which is less enthralling without a controller) and consistently defies "real world physics" (Tom is basically a super-hero again) ... and there's no way Google didn't locate that cave half a decade ago.  If you want to keep your mind distracted from the nonsense, make a count of how many times Wahlberg says "kid."