Big Gold Brick

Director: Brian Petsos
Year Released: 2022
Rating: 0.0

Clearly disturbed Samuel (Emory Cohen) leaves his apartment (that he can't pay for), gets on a bus to a place called Rockchester, gets hit by a car driven by security guard Floyd (Andy Garcia) and then is asked to pen his "biography," telling him stories that don't sound plausible.  The poster notes that it's a "cerebral comedy," which can't be true: it isn't funny and it doesn't have a brain.  What follows is a random assemblage of absolute nonsense I really can't be bothered to type out: Floyd has a much-younger wife (Megan Fox) who is cheating on him (and he on her), a son who kills rabbits (and might be possessed), a daughter (Lily Hale) who's both promiscuous and on cocaine (allegedly) ... and then Floyd gambles on high school basketball, which gets him in trouble with the Dr. Strangelove-esque Anselm (Oscar Isaac).  It's largely film school junk, if said student was given the opportunity to cast actual movie stars.