Army of Thieves
Director: Matthias Schweighöfer
Year Released: 2021
Rating: 1.0
"Prequel" to Zack Snyder's Army of the Dead centers on Dieter (Schweighöfer), a safe cracker who gets recruited by reviled criminal Gwen (Nathalie Emmanuel) to unlock several safes designed by a legendary locksmith named Hans Wagner - naturally, Interpol (not the band) wants to take her and her operation down. The attempt to even vaguely tie this, which is a silly crime caper, to Snyder's gore-fest is misguided (to say the least), Schweighöfer's bumbling demeanor is just as aggravating as his tacky "direction" and screenwriter Shay Hatten has no ear for dialogue whatsoever. Some have complained about the length of it - it only runs a little over two hours - but I didn't mind, since it's edited in such a way that if you dare to blink or look away for a second or two, you miss several cuts.