Alphabet City
Director: Amos Poe
Year Released: 1984
Rating: 0.5
Over-confident mobster Johnny (Vincent Spano) - who "runs" the Alphabet City neighborhood of Manhattan (presently known - ahem - as East Village) - manages to tick off the Mafia by refusing to burn down the building his parents and sister (Jami Gertz) live in and then has to protect his girlfriend (Kate Vernon) and their child. It's completely atrocious as fiction, with terrible dialogue ("I'm the man with the matches"), all the Italian-American stereotypes you can think of and bad acting, but at the very least it provides a snapshot of mid-80's NYC with its "different" sense of fashion and style, and of course there's Michael Winslow making a bunch of cool noises with his mouth. Do a shot of Sambuca every time someone says "Johnny!" ... or don't if there isn't any activated charcoal nearby.