The Day of the Dolphin

Director: Mike Nichols
Year Released: 1973
Rating: 0.5

Dr. Terrell (George C. Scott), a scientist who works with cetaceans, has been training a dolphin named Alpha to try to get him to communicate in English but his secret little plan gets messed up when the creature, along with Alpha's partner Beta, are stolen by shady types who want to use them to blow up the President's yacht.  Before anyone balks at this ludicrous premise just know that the U.S. military and other countries have training programs in place for marine mammals (they're used to detect underwater mines and can alert the presence of enemies in the water), but Nichols and screenwriter Buck Henry - working (very loosely) off the novel by Robert Merle - turn it into a somnambulant (and unintentionally funny) "thriller" that never gains any traction and too caught up in ogling the wiggling animals like it's an exhibit at SeaWorld instead of a motion picture.  To anyone who thinks the child-like dolphins are cute, just know that in the wild they have been known to rape and drown people and kill baby porpoises for kicks: give them all the ability to talk and then take them to court.