Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight
Director: Bartosz M. Kowalski
Year Released: 2020
A group of teenagers a little too addicted to their phones get sent by their parents to a special technology-free camp ... where a bunch of them get hunted down by pustulous, cannibalistic ogres (who look like they were kicked out of thrash metal band GWAR). It's self-aware - the one chubby loner can recite all the rules of horror movies (no sex, no drugs, never separate, etc.) - but for the first hour it just repeats a lot of the clichés it claims to know so well before becoming a little more gruesome at the end, when one of the victims gets his tongue eaten and keeps gargling up his own blood (ouchy!). The main character, Zosia (Julia Wieniawa-Narkiewicz), is a tough lil lady, but it would have been nice to find out more about her past aside from seeing her parents die in a car accident and knowing that she self-harms.