Captain Marvel

Director: Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck
Year Released: 2019
Rating: 1.5

Pilot Carol Danvers (Brie Larson) attains super-powers when she absorbs energy from an experimental engine designed by super-intelligent scientist Dr. Wendy Lawson (Annette Bening) and, despite having difficulties balancing her emotional state (she's been through a lot), is able to fend off opposing forces trying to get ahold of a glowing cube called the Tesseract (it's okay - the cat ate it).  I wish I could report that this offers something even slightly different from most of the other Marvel movies but it doesn't (what a surprise) - the 'plot' just trots out a 'female heroine' (done before with Wonder Woman) taking on The Men (boo, Jude Law!) and peppers the soundtrack with songs from the mid-90's, including both Kurt's Nirvana and Ms. Love's Hole (how about that!), not unlike Guardians of the Galaxy's fascination with 70's rock.  These comic book things are so rote and pre-packaged they should be an insult to everyone's intelligence, except the studios are exceptional at marketing and audiences are still taken with the Mad Libs-esque "fill in the blanks" storylines.  Don't feed me cotton candy and even dare to suggest it's packed with vitamins.