Velvet Buzzsaw

Director: Dan Gilroy
Year Released: 2019
Rating: 2.0

Josephina (Zawe Ashton), who works as an assistant to former punk rocker-turned-art dealer Rhodora Haze (Rene Russo), finds out a man who died in her apartment complex was an artist and 'steals' his paintings (along with his cat) - despite his wishes for them to be burned - and Haze, along with Josephina's sometimes boyfriend/full-time art critic Morf Vandewalt (Jake Gyllenhaal), put their heads together to 'promote' the 'outsider' work. I like the message Gilroy is sending - about not making money off another's labor and keep one's own art 'unadulterated' - but the movie is a mad scramble of tones: it's part satire of the uppity 'art world' and then part preposterous supernatural/horror movie, and neither gels together, making it seem like a different movie every couple of scenes. I'm not sure Gilroy knew what to do with the Morf character: in one scene Gyllenhaal is mincing around, the next he's competing for the cover of Men's Health; sometimes he's seducing (or being seduced by) Josephina, others he has a boyfriend (at least he keeps busy). And I'm not going to lie: I would have totally put my arm in Sphere ... before Toni Collette, of course (even though it's the bastard child of Anish Kapoor's Cloud Gate and the 'orbs' from Phantasm).