xXx: Return of Xander Cage

Director: D.J. Caruso
Year Released: 2017
Rating: 0.5

If the first xXx, which came out way, way back in 2002 was dumb fun and prime guilty pleasure material (I saw it in a packed theatre and laughed like hell) this release, some fifteen years later, is none of that: here it's tough guy Cage (Vin Diesel), a device to blow up satellites ("Pandora's Box"), Cage's crew of alternative types (a madman, a DJ, Ruby Rose), super evil CIA agents and awful acting (Neymar should stick to the grass). On the positive side, some of the fight scenes have pop to them - Donnie Yen channels early John Woo movies, the influence of Jackie Chan on Tony Jaa is evident - and Rose was born to play a badass (I wish her sniper 'character' wasn't reduced to "tough lesbian"), but in the end it's only consistent in being achingly corny.