Fantastic Four

Director: Josh Trank
Year Released: 2015
Rating: 1.0

Tech whiz Reed (Miles Teller), along with buddy Ben (Jamie Bell), discover a way to teleport matter to another planet and back to Earth, so they're recruited by Prof. Storm (Reg E. Cathey) to join other gifted types - including Victor von Doom (Toby Kebbell), Johnny Storm (Michael B. Jordan) and Sue Storm (Kate Mara) - to continue work on the project ... except one day they get too curious, send themselves to this other planet and return to Earth mutated (and leave Von Doom behind for dead). Widely considered one of the worst movies of 2015, I can only say that while I don't personally think it's as unbearable as the 2005 version (which I actually turned off), it does have a lot wrong with it: the pacing is off and it takes a good hour for the main figures to develop their powers, the actors are depleted of their natural charm (typically magnetic Teller is rendered bland) and the final conflict between the gang and Doom is murky and unimaginative (oh look, a wrecked planet). If ethanol actually did destroy brain cells, I'd have loved this.