The Robe

Director: Henry Koster
Year Released: 1953
Rating: 0.0

Nonstop moralizing and preachy monologues make this one of the most painful movie experiences for me so far this year. Roman Richard Burton is sent to crucify Jesus (accompanied by hired slave Victor Mature), but becomes remorseful and tormented with guilt when he puts on Jesus' magical robe. Allow that to sink in: magical robe. It gets worse after that, as Burton is converted into a spokesman for God, speaking out against the tyranny of a very silly Caligula (Jay Robinson). Burton once said, "I've done the most awful rubbish in order to have somewhere to go in the morning" - could he have been speaking of this? [Note: He's done quite a few bad films, now that I'm thinking of it.]