White Bird in a Blizzard

Director: Gregg Araki
Year Released: 2014
Rating: 1.0

Sad White Girl TV Movie (... but with nudity!) has high school student Kat (Shailene Woodley) greatly disturbed by the sudden disappearance of her mother (Eva Green, too young for the role) while Dad (Christopher Meloni) appears lost and bewildered. There's little of substance to the narrative: it's guided along entirely by Kat's mood swings and impulsive decisions, and aside from a few scattered, crispy white dream sequences and the concluding 'revelation,' it never feels like an Araki movie or even a Teen Problem story of notable distinction. Watching Green cackle when she discovers her husband having an affair, however, is splendid camp ... for those who have an appreciation for such things. At least the cash registers in this don't all ring up "$6.66" like they do in a certain Araki feature....