Machete Kills
Director: Robert Rodriguez
Year Released: 2013
Rating: 0.5
What was a semi-amusing three minute trailer in Grindhouse is now two feature length movies (is Lorne Michaels behind this?), with this sequel featuring man-of-few-words Machete (Danny Trejo) chasing after a Mexican terrorist (Demian Bichir) ... and then after a rogue scientist (Mel Gibson) with plans on starting a world war. The pinnacle of 'humor' in this is casting Charlie Sheen (using his birth name) as the President of the United States and its idea of clever is throwing a bunch of stars out there for very brief cameo appearances (look, Lady Gaga as an assassin!). Machete still isn't an interesting enough character to carry a movie, but that won't stop him from going to space (and continuing to lift from Star Wars) in the inevitable third installment (please don't make another one).
