A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III

Director: Roman Coppola
Year Released: 2012
Rating: 1.0

A graphic designer (Charlie Sheen playing, once again, Charlie Sheen) gets dumped by his girlfriend (Katheryn Winnick) after said girlfriend discovers risque photos of his exes (and there are a lot of them) in a dresser drawer - pining, he ends up crashing his car, stuck in a hospital bed and conned into spending a ton on Russian caviar. This isn't much of a "movie" per se - more like a sketch of a movie, with characters that float in and out at will and a script that isn't nearly as funny as one episode of Two and a Half Men (the older ones ... not the ones with Ashton Kutcher). If Coppola was going for the surrealist approach he could have really made this an off-kilter lunatic dream, but it's ultimately too grounded ... and if the viewer is supposed to feel some kind of pity for the Sheen character, it's got the wrong lead. It's Charlie Freakin' Sheen. Doesn't cocaine kill off the receptors for sorrow?