The Salt of Life
Director: Gianni Di Gregorio
Year Released: 2011
Rating: 1.0
Woe Is Me: Middle-Aged Italian Style. Recently retired Gianni (the director as "himself") - with his puffy eyes and perpetual slouch - realizes he needs to "spice up" his personal life so he heads out to have an affair, only to discover he's been friend-zoned by the women closest to him. It's a narcissistic puff piece with a desperate third act that involves Gianni (a.) taking an erection pill, (b.) drinking a laced aperitif and (c.) having a fantasy where all the women finally respect him (and feed him). Unlike Woody Allen's self-absorbed movies, this one is devoid of wit and essentially consists of Gianni moping around for the duration, though it's fitting that the place where he can find the 'answer' to his issues is in his mind. Here's to dreaming, you dope.
