Emperor of the North

Director: Robert Aldrich
Year Released: 1973
Rating: 2.0

Train conductor/tyrant Ernest Borgnine don't like them damned hobos riding for free on his train; Super Hobo Lee Marvin says, "I'm going to ride your train." And he does. And that's about it. Achingly simple dichotomy in an achingly simple movie - Maltin & Co. insist it's "heavily symbolic," which is true if you find depth to Marvin forcing a cop to bark like a dog and Marvin getting baptized before his final battle with The Devil. In reality, there's no way Major Reisman would ever, ever, ever be challenged in the slightest by a wide-eyed, pissed-off Marty Piletti. Ever.