Director: Nicole Holofcener
Year Released: 2010
Rating: 1.0
The title's a bit misleading, but I'm sure Please Die wouldn't have tested well. Slimy parasites (Oliver Platt and Catherine Keener) buy furniture from the recently deceased and mark up the prices to sell them to yuppies - they're also waiting for their neighbor to die so they can take over her dank apartment. This nauseating premise is made all the more lovely by filling the picture with several vile individuals - Platt the adulterer, Sarah Steele the greasy-faced brat, Amanda Peet the acid-tongued stalker, Keener the hypocrite - of which only Rebecca Hall's character remains semi-grounded, and that's because she works at a mammogram center where she has to look at saggy breasts covered in moles all day. When all is said and done - and yes, the old woman next door perishes in depressing fashion (hooray!) - we can safely surmise that no one's learned the err of their ways (Platt gets away scot-free and never has to confess, Peet is still a jerk, Keener's still a grave robber, Steele's face is still a minefield of cysts) and I've learned that mammograms are painful endeavors (sorry, ladies).