Prince of Darkness

Director: John Carpenter
Year Released: 1987
Rating: 0.5

Evil Incarnate - taking the form of a canister of green, swirling Kool-Aid in an abandoned church - doesn't appreciate super curious graduate students noodling around and testing it with their equipment and ancient texts, so in retaliation it summons the homeless to attack them when it isn't taking matters into its own hands and spitting its delicious drink into their open mouths. Honestly, can you blame it? This is offensively dull and plodding - negating any potential scariness - and squanders its decent starting premise - of Satan taking on liquid form - as it resorts to horror clichés and religious/philosophical yammering. Alice Cooper appears as himself.