Director: Catherine Hardwicke
Year Released: 2008
Rating: 1.0

Eyeball-rolling literary sensation for the high school/college set - with the pedestrian concept of "quiet bookish girl meets chaste vampire" - gets a moody but vacuous movie adaptation. Pale Kristen Stewart - new in the town of Forks, Washington but immediately accepted by her classmates (this is not Mean Girls or Heathers) - falls for equally pale and pouty Robert Pattinson, slowly (... very slowly) figures out he has superhuman powers, then finds herself in need of his constant protection. Teen girls like it because they want to snuggle and kiss and get paid attention to by the best looking guy in the school without having to put out but anyone else not of this mindset will inevitably be repulsed by the filler and robotic dialogue. Let's face it: Pattinson's hair upstages everything else.