My Blueberry Nights

Director: Wong Kar-Wai
Year Released: 2007
Rating: 1.0

Wong makes a conscious effort to 'remix' Chungking Express (and set it in America) but only ends up with a lousy facsimile. Lovesick Norah Jones (key mistake #1: Norah Jones is not Faye Wong) finds herself hanging around two addicts - alcoholic David Strathairn and gambler/compulsive liar Natalie Portman - and drifting across the States, only to find herself back in NY eating Jude Law's pie (and yes, pie is actually a metaphor). The dialogue is atrocious - which is odd, because Wong is proficient in English - and the same can be said about the acting: when Jones and Portman (sporting a Southern accent!) are on-screen together, it's a pungent one-two punch (surprisingly, Chan Marshall fares well in her only scene). Wong should know by now that for him HK > NYC, California Dreaming > The Greatest, Takeshi Kaneshiro > Jude Law and that blueberry cheesecake > so many other desserts.