Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Director: Mike Newell
Year Released: 2005
Rating: 2.0

Pubescent feelings arise at Hogwarts in this fourth Harry Potter, which has the cast trying to find dates for their version of the "prom" (with the house band consisting of two members from Radiohead and one from Pulp - a bargain, if you ask me), dealing with romantic feelings (who likes Hermione? who does Hermione like?) and collectively realizing they're not children any more. Those scenes are the only reason to bother with this - if you've seen the first three Potters you might as well suck it up and put this on - which mostly consists of the familiar CGI "Olympics" and the inadvertent awakening of Voldemort (embodied with hissing menace by Ralph Fiennes). Though the video game effects are the real star - distracting from any and all human elements - and reducing its performers to green screen mimes (see my complaints about the first three), a lot of the side players cope surprisingly well, especially Brendan Gleeson (having a grand ol' time with his prosthetic leg and roving eye), Michael Gambon as Dumbledore and the aforementioned Fiennes.