Director: Sally Potter
Year Released: 2004
Rating: 1.0

As someone who's actually done janitorial work - unlike Ms. Potter, I imagine - I knew something was wrong with this picture from the very beginning when I saw the cleaning lady fishing a condom out of the toilet with her bare hands. 'Comfortable' with dirt or not, that's just nasty. What follows is even more incomprehensible: unhappy bourgeois couple (Sam Neill and Joan Allen) drift apart emotionally, implausibly leading Allen into the arms of a man from Beirut and setting up a long, pretentiously shot altercation between the two of them in a parking garage about America vs. Everyone Else in the World. I'm willing to grant a little lee-way to a film trying something new - in this case, Potter writing a script entirely in iambic pentameter (when I first heard about The Umbrellas of Cherbourg being entirely sung I almost didn't watch it) - but instead of making the film more accessible with the 'Eminem-meets-Shakespeare' verbiage, it only alienates.