Director: David Cronenberg
Year Released: 1999
Rating: 0.5

Considering that David Cronenberg is a filmmaker I like and respect (I think "Dead Ringers" is a modern-day masterpiece and "The Dead Zone" is an outstanding horror film), I was hoping this film would be a knockout. But it's not. It's a tale of a video game designer Allegra Gellar (Jennifer Jason Leigh, straight-faced all the way) who creates "eXistenZ", a video game unit that looks a lot like a fetus (don't ask) which plugs into a hole in your back called a "bioport" (again, don't ask) where you are able to submerge yourself into a world of mutant fish and two-headed amphibians (once again, no). And while the ideas behind the film are interesting (and so are all the sexual metaphors), the dialogue is outright pathetic and the film never seems to want to end. It's nothing but a big, silly, poorly-acted, enigmatic joke on the audience, and a major disappointment from Cronenberg.