When Will I Be Loved

Director: James Toback
Year Released: 2004
Rating: 0.5

Woman! You enticing creature, you gorgeous, vicious creature! The things you make men do! Take, for example, the love triangle of budding hustler Frederick Weller, his luscious girlfriend Neve Campbell and Italian mogul Dominic Chianese! When we first see Neve, nude and with full buttocks, glistening and moist, she is showering, is she not: the subject of the male gaze! Ah! The same spell she cast on the audience - those ... pert breasts, that ... sparkling skin - envelopes Weller and Chianese, who both want to use her, one for pleasure the other for money! What happens? They fight over her charms ... and she ends up ensnaring both! Curses! Who can we thank for this moment of insight? Why, Mr. James Toback, of course: a former Pet of Kael! When Mr. Toback is not drawing us in with his poorly staged improv chats and celeb fixation (look, there's Michael Tyson! look, there's Lori Singer! look, there's Damon Dash!) he's torturing us with extensively scripted witty banter and tantalizing us with lesbian sex! All this in eighty minutes of fluff! What con will the man pull off next? Watch your wallets!