Director: Peter Sollett
Year Released: 2002
Hey, whattya know? Someone remade Kids ... but this time the teenagers - we're to believe - have gone through some sort of therapy (they're still having sex, but it's depicted as being less 'dirty' and 'evil'). The title character is a shameless womanizer who seduces (we're told) countless girls (he also has this rare disorder that has makes his lips become dry every few seconds; try Carmex, kid) but his attempt to pin down the neighborhood cutie teaches him a valuable lesson: it's to be assumed that Victor is essentially good-natured (just a tad 'randy') and when he ends up spooning with his lady at the end, it's because he, for once, cares (he's 'reformed'). The movie also reveals a very important fact about females: unattractive ones are easy to sleep with and require little or no effort (the 'fat,' 'ugly' girl in beginning), average looking ones need a minimal amount of work to wear down (the girl with the glasses) and very pretty ones need all kinds of pampering and attention (the lead female). Grandma is made into this paranoid old-world woman with 'antiquated' values (Sollett couldn't manufacture any 'real' antagonist, I guess) who criminally misunderstands her grandchildren and foolishly believes this archaic thing we call religion can help them (she even tries to abandon them). While I'm thinking aloud: Is it really that difficult getting one drinking glass clean? Would Columbo have been so observant?