Director: Martha Coolidge
Year Released: 1983
Rating: 1.0
'Punk' (term used very loosely) Nicolas Cage courts unappealing lady Julie(t) in this lazy adaptation of Romeo & Juliet, forgoing things like depth and romance for Cage staring and groaning in a post-Brando kind-of way and the screenwriters overdoing the dialogue with a surplus of 'like's and 'God' and 'whatever' to add 'color.' Doesn't work the way Heckerling's Clueless did - that picture juggled quirky characters and true emotion, and never made its inhabitants look foolish or worthy of scorn - and neglects to even try to be funny (I didn't even smile once); the inherent predictability in how the main relationship will end up keeps interest level very low (if they made the preppy jock Cage competes with a more well-rounded person, the choice between the two of them may have been less clear-cut). On a personal note, I knew a girl that actually talked like a 'valley girl' ... and she was born and raised in Pittsburgh. Therefore, idiocy is a genetic disease and not affected by topography in any way.
