Christine

Director: John Carpenter
Year Released: 1983
Rating: 1.5

If there's anything good in this movie, it's King's portrayal of America's obsession with automobiles and sex - Carpenter, on the other hand, lines up the bad actors and allows the cliché high school scenarios to remain in the picture. Follows familiar porn film scenario: Nerd, after years of torment, loses Glasses and Virginity to Girl (in this case, a cherry-red Plymouth Fury), and with the Loss of his Virginity is blessed with the gift of Cool and gets Revenge on the Bullies - but then the movie goes into its too-ridiculous-to-bear concept of car driving itself, fixing itself and altering the lives of those that come near it (ending with a by-then exhausting bulldozer vs. car battle). I guess some people thought it would be clever to play George Thorogood and the Destroyers' "Bad to the Bone" as an introduction: how dumb....