Pumpkin (2002) review

Are you kidding me? "Pain feels like a broken mirror?" What I think is intended to be satire suffers from the same problem other would-be satires encounter: it is not satirical or pleasantly amusing or cutting or enlightening. In fact, the story of a sorority girl who falls in love with a handicapped boy, nicknamed "Pumpkin" – and it's never clear why she would fall in love with him (other than to obey the plot) – is so off-target it becomes borderline offensive. You see, it turns out that the crippled boy is so empowered by Christina Ricci, he can un-cripple himself by lifting weights! And her GQ model boyfriend, who has everything going for him, cripples himself by driving his car off a cliff after he gets into a fight with Pumpkin … and loses! The poetry teacher, representing 'dark truth' curses in class to show he knows what 'life is like' (and criticizes Ricci for writing 'positive' poetry)! It's so unspeakably awful I'm actually revolted! Thanks filmmakers!