The Babysitter

Director: McG
Year Released: 2017
Rating: 1.5

"Wussy" Cole (Judah Lewis) still needs babysitter Bee (Samara Weaving) to watch over him when his parents are out-of-town, but suspects Bee's night-time behavior is a little suspicious ... and he's correct: her and her friends (including Bella Thorne) sacrifice virgins by sticking knives in their heads so they can drink their "pure" blood and have their dreams come true (the dark lord Satan appreciates the strangest things). It's 'influenced,' largely, by cheesy 80's teensploitation movies and borrows any idea from them it can, except McG is too visually refined for it to be cheap fun: it's too crisp and well-edited and self-aware for easy chuckles, and driving a stolen car into your own house to wipe-out a disturbed blonde is probably overkill. I do know this: on Monday morning that kid's gonna have a long meeting with the school therapist ... but least he found a girlfriend (Emily Alyn Lind) in the ordeal (it's still safer than Tinder).