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Baywatch

Director:  Seth Gordon
Year Released:  2017
Rating:  0.0

Big-screen version of the dopey 90's TV show known for slow-motion shots of abs and boobs (and nothing else) ... that's more of the same: cocky (but disgraced) Olympic swimmer Matt Brody (Zac Efron) goes to work on The Rock's jacked-up lifeguard team and together they solve the (easily figured out) 'mystery' of who is pushing drugs in the area (hint: it's Priyanka Chopra). The "gags" are awful (ha ha, your dick got stuck!) and when it actually tries to be a 'serious' adventure movie, it falls completely flat. Honest question that never gets addressed: if there are so many near-drownings and accidents and crime at one particular beach, why in the hell doesn't the Coast Guard shut it down?

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