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iBoy

Director:  Adam Randall
Year Released:  2017
Rating:  0.5

Get a load of this dorky setup: ADHD poster child Tom (Bill Milner) goes to 'hang out' with love interest Lucy (Maisie Williams) but she's getting raped by local drug dealers ... when he tries to run, his phone gets shot into his brain and since doctors can't remove the pieces he's able to use his 'digitized mind' to steal money from banks, turn on cars, blow up televisions and give enemies a bad case of tinnitus. With a midnight movie plot one would think this is going to be campy and full of cheap thrills, but the result is utter gloominess and seriousness courtesy of director Randall, who apparently watched Minority Report and The Matrix one too many times and thought he had the material to compete (he doesn't). Coincidentally, I watched Doctor Strange the previous day ... certainly Mr. Cumberbatch's psychic surgeon could have removed the made-in-China microchips from Milner's noggin and saved everyone a lot of trouble.

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