Tomorrowland

Director: Brad Bird
Year Released: 2015
Rating: 1.0

Sneaky tech nut (and daughter to a NASA engineer) Casey (Britt Robertson) happens upon a "magical coin" that introduces her to the utopian title fantasyland - later, she's recruited by a female robot named Athena (Raffey Cassidy) - like Vicki from Small Wonder but with real combat skills - and exiled Frank (George Clooney) to "fix" the world. The "screenplay" (if it can be called that) is terribly incoherent: little of this makes any sense, starting with awkward time-frame juggling and bringing out contrivances anyone not stoned would have scratched off the Idea Sheet (a rocket ship in the middle of the Eiffel Tower?!) - coincidentally, Frank provides the movie's own (intentional?) self-criticism when he asks, sarcastically, "Can't you just be amazed and move on?" (... actually, no). As it turns out, the real way to save the human race from destruction is for 54-year-old Clooney to use the 11-year-old love of his life as a bomb to destroy a glowing orb. The push to "think positive" and "be creative" is cute and all, but it also sounds like a very expensive (and glossy) ad for Apple.