Avengers: Age of Ultron

Director: Joss Whedon
Year Released: 2015
Rating: 2.0

In this particular Marvel-meets-Hollywood jerk-off session/cash cow (in which a dozen-plus comic book characters who have their own storylines get thrown together for one big messy story) sassy genius Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) has designed Ultron (voiced by James Spader), a program that's supposed to be a war deterrent but goes rogue (who'd have thought?), silences Stark's supercomputer Jarvis (voiced by Paul Bettany), builds itself a super-charged body and decides to rip a chunk out of the Earth in order to hurl it back on the planet (go big or go home, right?). Since these projects - largely devoid of artistry - are just piles of money sent to CGI teams, I'll list three observations and be done with it: (1.) The Hulk appears over-powered in this one (could be the result of Bruce Banner falling in love with Black Widow - love's a funny thing), (2.) RDJ is still a bright spot (and comfortable in the role), and (3.) If you do a shot of your favorite spirit every time a window gets shattered, you'll be too drunk to nitpick.