Bel Ami

Director: Declan Donnellan and Nick Ormerod
Year Released: 2012
Rating: 1.0

Poor, not-too-swift Georges (Robert Pattinson) has a chance encounter with a former soldier friend and ends up getting a job as a journalist (even though he's barely literate) and sleeping his way through French High Society: first with passionate Clotilde (Christina Ricci), then with deceitful Madeleine (Uma Thurman) and then with desperate Virginie (Kristin Scott Thomas). Pattinson has the look for the part - of someone physically attractive enough to lead all these women into bed with him - but his character comes across as a blank, and all that seems to register on his face is a sneer: when he eventually gets his revenge (after being manipulated consistently), it's almost a shock as to how he came up with his plan at all. Donnellan and Ormerod turn a scintillating story about sex-among-the-wealthy and turn it into a drab, unmoving affair, but I'll be damned if Ricci's character doesn't have a real fire in her loins. Get the girl some ice water.