Failure to Launch

Director: Tom Dey
Year Released: 2006
Rating: 1.0

Boat salesman and professional louse Matthew McConaughey refuses to move out of his parents' house (not because of financial or emotional troubles, but because he's fucking lazy), so his parents enlist the help of a 'professional' (Sarah Jessica Parker, whose very presence would force me to hole up in a dark corner) to flush him out ... but predictably, they fall in love. Though the topic is timely (people are living with their parents much later than they normally would during any other time in American history), it's dealt with in a flaccid, sitcom-like manner - if any of these people were remotely bright or reasonable, there would be no movie, because reasonable, bright people would sit their thirtysomething son/daughter on their couch and talk the situation out rationally (Parker's character is basically a New Wave Whore, only instead of sex she dispenses life advice). Neither McConaughey nor Parker are inherently funny in any way, shape or form, so the comic relief is left up to Zooey as the 'crazy friend' (a niche role if ever there was one) and some very symbolic CGI creatures that bite at McConaughey.