Ong-Bak: Muay Thai Warrior

Director: Prachya Pinkaew
Year Released: 2003
Rating: 1.0

There is only one reason to see this movie - which is done in the same style as any Jean-Claude Van Damme/Steven Seagal vehicle - and his name is Tony Jaa. Jaa can do things with his body we generally only see video game characters do - leap through hoops, do back flips, beat up a guy while his legs are on fire. This is precisely what the filmmakers were thinking: how many cool things can we have Tony Jaa do, and what's the dumbest, most obvious plot we can create to string these cool things together? No strings, no CGI, no brain: it's Martial Arts Porn, where you should fast forward past the talking and inane storyline to get to the goodies.